I didn’t start this work because I had it all figured out. I started it because I couldn’t get out on my own.

For seven years, I was in an affair I didn’t know how to leave. I was a Christian wife and mother, and I was convinced no other woman who loved Jesus had done what I’d done. Then God rescued me at a retreat and I knew I didn’t just want to stop the affair. I wanted to heal well.

So I did all the “right” things. I journaled. I stayed in church. I went to counseling. But I stayed stuck in my head, and when I went looking for help, I found a painful gap: almost everything labeled “affair recovery” was written for the wife as the betrayed spouse. So as the woman who had the affair (especially the Christian woman) the unspoken message was clear: you are the problem, not the one worthy of care.

Everything changed when I stopped trying to fix my behavior and started letting myself feel safe in honesty. Safe with God. Safe in my body. Safe with other women who understood. That’s where the shame finally began to loosen and where I began to come home to myself. So I built what I couldn’t find so you would never feel alone like I did.